Let me tell you a little story. One morning, I woke up excited as usual to eat breakfast, but something wasn’t quite right with my stomach—a little rumbly in my tumbly, if you know what I mean. So one thing led to another, and I picked up the trash can in my dorm room, brought it over to my bed, and well, let’s say that this was some effective weight loss. No, I’m not about to write about struggles with bulimia (although I probably have bulimia at least in terms of the binging, just without the throwing-up). I’m here to talk to you about food poisoning and how to prevent it.

Food preservation is key. So my friends and I came to the conclusion that I got food poisoning from the chicken po’ boy from the night before. I had gone to the dining hall and grabbed one from the leftover section (they had served chicken po’ boys for lunch). So I really like chicken. Like if you want me to like you, get me fried boneless chicken, and we will be the best of friends. Buffalo chicken as a bonus. So how could I resist leftover chicken po’ boy! It wasn’t the fact that it was in the leftover section that made it an issue though. It was the fact that I took it on a plate with me back to my dorm, which I then let sit on my desk until 2AM, when I wanted a late night snack. For those of you who don’t know what a chicken po’ boy is, it is a fried chicken patty sandwich with mayonnaise and lettuce. Probably not the best thing to let sit out, especially the leftover version of it. Meh.

Anyway, here is a list of ways not to get food poisoning:

  1. Don’t ask your vegetarian friend to take raw chicken and put it in a tupperware of milk to sit, even if it means that you’ll have chicken as tender as the “tender love and care” Michael Jackson sings about in PYT (Pretty Young Thing). You’ll just end up with some DAV (diarrhea and vomit). You’ll get raw chicken juice mixed with milk all over the fridge, counter, floors, plates and utensils. Unless salmonella is your thing, I support love.
  2. Don’t leave leftover dim sum in your purse as you walk around the city of your choice, from 12PM to 12AM. Especially the pork dim sum with soup in it. If it doesn’t sit well in the tupperware, I guarantee it won’t sit well in your stomach.
  3. Pizza looks invincible, but if you put it in the fridge and then take it out with the intention of eating it, but then put it back in the fridge and then take it out(again) with the intention of eating it, but instead leave it in your purse as you stroll around the city (again), don’t eat it. Pizza doesn’t mean perfect.
  4. Wine improves with age. Chocolate milk does not.
  5. Just because cheese is technically mold, does not mean more mold on mold makes it better.
  6. Buy fresh produce with the intention of eating it or cooking it within a week, max. I like to “watch musicals” such as The Little Shop of Horror too, but doesn’t mean you have to have one in your fridge.
  7. The freezer is your friend…not food?