There’s the saying that you only have one body, so take care of it. Yes, the body is a precious thing. This is a food blog, a place where eating is encouraged and praised. But I think it’s safe to say that we’ve all yacked, thrown-up, vomited, blown chunks or puked at some point in our life. You may have experienced that awful nauseous feeling after a car ride swerving on Highway 17 down south to Santa Cruz or speeding in a cab over the hills of San Francisco. You may have eaten that chicken po’ boy or eaten some ambiguous soft-shell “crab” at your local sushi boat. You may have consumed 20 shots. It doesn’t really matter. But let me share with you some ways to prevent vomiting, so your stomach and esophagus don’t hate you.

  1. Don’t eat old or shady food.
  2. Drink as much as you can handle.
  3. Eat ginger – it prevents nausea and calms your stomach.
  4. Don’t go in cars if you get carsick.
  5. Don’t go on boats if you get seasick.
  6. Don’t go on planes if you get airsick.
  7. Don’t move if you get motion sickness.
  8. Don’t take 20 shots and then vomit all over your furniture, necessitating a trip to Target to replace furniture and sheets and clothes.
  9. It’s exciting to see your friend after you’ve been apart for a long time (a week is a LONG time!). But that doesn’t mean you should get drunk enough to vomit.
  10. Don’t drink so much that you sit on the couch and vomit all over yourself and the couch…and then get a dorm damage charge.
  11. Don’t drink so much tequila that you have to be carried downstairs to your room by somebody, but not quite make it and vomit over the person carrying you.
  12. Don’t drink so much that you vomit and then fall asleep in a bathroom stall.
  13. Don’t drink so much that you drunk order so much food that you vomit from the two calzones and slice of pizza you consumed.
  14. Don’t be tempted by Groupon offers to Italian restaurants that give you free appetizers and desserts. Especially if you are going with a party of three when the offer is designed for four.

Tip: If you’re going to vomit, don’t let it sit in your hair. Wash your hair or have somebody hold your hair back. Whatever you gotta do. 

Places not to vomit: Elevators, balconies, apartment hallways, dorm hallways, behind staircases. 

There’s so much good food to eat – don’t waste it by having it get mopped up or flushed down the toilet!!

**To be updated with more poor life choices.

Note: this photo was not staged.