The Sharshar Saga: Struggles of a Vegetarian

2012-07-27

So I have this friend. Her name’s Sharshar, not Sharleen. Girl likes to have a good time as seen in the picture above. And she’s a vegetarian. So lyg, why da fugg am I friends with this gurL?! I love all forms of meat: chicken, fried chicken, teriyaki chicken, pork belly, steak, carpaccio, veal, rabbit, oxtail, duck, squirrel, quail, pigeon, Spam, sausage, sushi, salmon, tuna, chicken apple sausage, dog…(I’M JUST KIDDING). But the point is, I love meat and I don’t think I could live without it. But that is clearly not the case with Sharshar over here.

Since I spend maybe 25 hours a day with her annually (yes 25, not 24), we must share some meals. So what to do if she’s a vegetarian?!

Attempt to force her to eat meat (previously noted that my friend tried to drunkenly force feed her a corn dog)
Feed her meat-based dishes by accident. I took her to a Korean restaurant and she had kimchi, which I unfortunately found out had a fish base. Ignorance is bliss.
Feed her meat-based dishes on purpose, but secretly.Yet to happen but I like to call this corrective feeding.
Accept her foreign life decisions and find some restaurants and meals that are vegetarian-friendly!

Attention Vegetarians: Stay away from the dish below as it can be deceiving (although for us more meat-inclined, this is DELICIOUS)

My friend and I are convinced she doesn’t like vegetables (EVEN THOUGH SHE’S A VEGETARIAN). I’ll keep my friend out of this, but I am also convinced she is Crazy Plant Lady, the way most people are Crazy Cat ladies, which would explain why she doesn’t want to eat vegetables (because it would be planticide). But we know for a fact that she LOVES cheese (and I guess other things, too). So here are some tasty vegetarian options. (This post was going to be more of a general vegetarian post with tips for vegetarian options, but it was more of a declaration of friendship with somebody who should probably actually hate me).

Cheese…